Tuesday, 14 July 2015


20 April 2017 - Whittingdale & Murdoch plan to flog the BBC.

12 December 2015. Keep the BBC safe from the Tory government "Free Market" saboteurs.

Photo of David Attenborough

21 Sep 2015 - Murdoch defaming the BBC - Dimbleby

21 Sep 2015 - BBC leads world broadcasting - Nordic TV

"DISMEMBER THE BBC" - UK Ministry of Kulture

Addressing exultant crowds of cheering multimedia moguls and workers and millions of British Hardworking Families, Free Market zealot, John Whittingdale OBE MP, UK Minister for Culture, who heads the extreme far-right 1922 Committee of the Tory Party, announced today that all BBC programmes - radio and television - are to be legally forced to embrace Free Market principles by including a minimum of 20 minutes of commercial advertising in every hour of broadcast.

13 April 2016 - Oh Dear! Mr Whittingdale. A media sting catches minister.

"It is entirely unfair, undemocratic and anti-competitive that genuine, hardworking commercial broadcasters have to interrupt their shows with advertisements, while the BBC does not. This loophole in British broadcasting law allows the ordinary common people, who are forced to pay a tithe to the BBC under threat of death, to avoid fully engaging with the consumer service society, which is the lifeblood of this great nation."

Whittingdale complained that it is unsurprising that advert free shows such as the globally popular BBC Strictly Come Dancing outshine all competing shows from commercially constrained media; who undoubtedly thought of such formats first - because Free Market organisations are of course infinitely more creative than quasi-civil-servant types at the BBC - but the immensely talented free commercial artists were prevented by mystical and mysterious market forces from developing their ideas.

Whittingdale, tightly clasping the expensive hand of The BBC Trust Chairwoman, Rona Fairhead, HSBC's part-time £500K per year Head of Audit and Swiss-Mexican-tax-evasion-and-drug-money-laundering Watchdog, continued "Your government will henceforth ensure that every UK Subject, every man, woman and child, will find no escape from their duty to hear, watch and absorb the vital messages emanating freely from this nation's and the free world's greatest businesses."

"Rona and I, and your democratically elected government, are as one on this root and branch reform of the evil BBC socialist empire, which is an ever growing challenge to and stain on the astringent, clean and medically proven Global Free Markets. To police this new law, which takes effect immediately, we, your superior governors, have hired the services, through an offshore tax-free 50 year contract, of our very good mutual friend and long standing media mogul Rebekah Brooks, who has the full inter-galactic support of our Mighty Lord of  Media Marketing, His Free-Market Topless-Page-Three Magnificence, His Divine Holiness, Rupert Murdoch"

(Whittingdale and Fairhead here knelt and bowed their heads in reverent silent obeisance.)

The great Free-Market shining knight continued: "...Dear Rebekah, on whom The Sun never sets,  recently absolved and exonerated by the highest courts in this Free Market land, of any knowledge of The News of The World illegal phone hacking scandals, as she was clearly too busy as CEO to know what her plebeian basement underlings were doing to obtain their Free Market, socially vital, publicly necessary stories of celebrity sex lives, will henceforth have power of veto, before broadcast, of all BBC output...  All BBC lies and slanders against my Conservative Party, your laudable government, will be silenced forever! " Whittingdale paused to let the popular applause die down, then continued  "And, she will have the sole irrevocable responsibility to ensure that the 20 minutes advertising per broadcast  hour rule is strictly adhered to".

"Finally..." Whittingdale said   "...This conversion of the BBC to the Holy Free Market Religion, will free all British people from the terrible burden, borne so bravely for nearly 100 years, of the BBC Licence Fee."

Here, the crowds surged inexorably forward up Whitehall in ecstasy and carried John Whittingdale aloft, up and away to heavenly realms, reserved exclusively for noble Free Market Ideologues, where every sort of delightful advertisement will be transmitted wirelessly and unstoppably, twenty-four-seven, directly into his brain - and where every exalted member is endlessly caressed by seventy-two virtual virgins of his or her choice.